I am a firm believer in sometimes we as parents have to be selfish. We are not robots who can function 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We are all devoted parents who go through so many emotions every single minute/hour/day that at times, we are exhausted. Even crying becomes too tiring. We need time to just breath and remember who we are, catch up on sleep or even say hi to your other half!
I would personally love to pass my girls over to their Grandparents for a weekend once a month so my hubby and I can just relax, watch what we want on TV, not have to be referee 100 times a day, eat chocolate without sneakily scoffing it when the kids aren’t looking just to be caught out when they can smell it on my breath and to get a lay in! Oh my goodness I wonder what waking up passed 7am feels like?
Or jet off somewhere hot for a long weekend knowing my girls are being well looked after by their Grandparents. Hubby and I can eat, drink and sleep to our hearts content!
My reality is slightly different to that sadly. Boo. We have two sets of Grandparents who adore their Grandchildren but my girls are very challenging and hard work. They will not stay out alone either, they are either together at their Grandparents or they don’t go at all.
On the plus side I am very lucky, my kids are at that age where they are no longer toddlers. I have a 12 and 7 year old who do sleep through the night. I still say there isn’t enough time in the day to fit in being mum, housekeeper, work 5 days a week, sleep etc.
Here are a few ways I have found time for me since my children were little.
- When I was on maternity leave, I would walk with my little one in the buggy (too young to want to walk). It was bliss. Time for me to clear my head and get some exercise. I did arrange to meet friends too but I would walk there and back on my own – peace!
- Nowadays I have been known to be a bad mum. Both my children are highly strung and can hype each other up just by looking at each other. They are not allowed on their tablets everyday or for over 1 hour each time. However, I have been known to give them ‘extra time’ or let them go on their tablets on a ‘non tablet day’ just for some peace and quiet! As I say sometimes I have to be selfish and take time out otherwise I become snappy through being tired with their constant hyper behaviour. They are both on the ASD spectrum. A nice hot cup of tea and no squabbling for 5-10 minutes is luxury!
- Night off. Another one I would like to do more of but with lack of local family for childcare it can be difficult. Having dinner or watching a film at the cinema with your friends or other half. Alcohol doesn’t have to be included but I do like a Jack Daniels and Coke.
- One thing I was very reluctant at the beginning of becoming a mum, was to accept help from friends and family. I soon realised I needed help and that actually it’s fine to accept help or even ask for it! We are only human. There are no prizes or awards for trying to do everything yourself.
- My fav tip for getting some time for you is going to bed early. Easier said than done if your beauties don’t sleep through the night I know.
- Have you tried not going on any social media including your phone for a while? or leaving it all alone/switched off for one night a week? I do this, I give myself Friday’s off. That’s my family night. Movie and takeaway.
I hope some of these ideas will help you find that time you need to keep on being you!